Seriously, it is a great change in feeling (finally) for today. I started my day early in the morning being nagged non-stopped right from the moment I woke up and was on the verge of starting a fight. It is as though there is a bee buzzing right at your ear 24/7. Except that, it stirs emotions, especially pent-up frustrations. Logic, as usual, held me back with all its strength.
For the rest of the day at work, I just was lethargic, trying my best to focus on my work. Have been doing database keying since last week. A pretty boring task with only a slight usage or brain cells. Of course, it was not enough to distract me. Thank God I was suddenly given another task. Something that requires more brain power that entertained me for the rest of the afternoon. The day ended not in a bad fashion, but I was just feeling sour throughout. (Don't ask)
Came home and prepared to hide in my room for the rest of the night to avoid seeing and communicating someone, and being nagged at with or without reason. Just as I was prepared to sulk through the rest of the night, I read the best thing ever n this 3 week F1 hiatus period before the next race:
Look inside, look inside your tiny mind and look a bit harder cause we’re so uninspired so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor
so you say it’s not okay to be gay well I think you’re just evil you’re just some racist who can’t tie my laces you’re point of view is medieval
Fuck you, fuck you very very much cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew so please don’t stay in touch
fuck you, fuck you very very much cause your words don’t translate and it’s getting quite late so please don’t stay in touch
do you get, do you get a little kick out of being small-minded? you want to be like your father it’s approval you’re after well that’s not how you’ll find it
do you, do you really enjoy living a life that’s so hateful cause there’s a hole where your soul should be you’re losing control of it and it’s really distasteful
Fuck you, fuck you very very much cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew so please don’t stay in touch
Fuck you, fuck you very very much cause your words don’t translate and it’s getting quite late so please don’t stay in touch
Look inside, look inside your tiny mind and look a bit harder cause we’re so uninspired so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor
Fuck you, fuck you very very much cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew so please don’t stay in touch
Fuck you, fuck you very very much cause your words don’t translate and it’s getting quite late so please don’t stay in touch
"Crackers" is a fireworks disaplay in Yishun, in lieu with Singapore Arts Festival for today and tomorrow. Of course I wouldn't miss a fireworks, not especially when it is just outside my house. So I went, along with st, lay, wd & fund after ktv. It might not have been the most spectacular fireworks display, but it was definitely overwhelming. (Then again, it might just be me.) The fireworks display was all around us, giving us a 360-degree of sight, hear & smell of the fireworks. All I did was to lift up my head, look into the sky, and there it was, fireworks all around me. Beautiful... and short-lived... as always...
It is so hard to be smiling and 'entertaining' every single individual when we are at our mental threshold. There are times when I just feel like sticking my middle finger (not literally) and get the world to fuck off. It is unbelievably tiring to be juggling with work, financial issues, studies, own company and interpersonal relationship, especially when half the people doesn't gives a shit anyways.
When I am at all smiles, people take that for what I should be. Yet when I am all down, they might ask, "what the hell is wrong with you?", and probably start shying from me. Since I am no longer the fun and exciting one.
People come and go. I guess it is time I re-evaluate those people who truly care, and people who no longer do. Then only I won't be so hard on myself.
I get it that people have their life and we are all busy in our own ways. Thus, the limited times on gatherings. Then, we have the phone, where we can always call upon each other for some short updates. Yet, people can be REALLY busy. Yes, I know. But when even a simple sms that will probably take at most 1 minute of your time, doesn't even get your attention, it just shows how much you care.
