======================================================= Pretty much all of us know what someone’s talking about when they say, “Hey, I was on a date, and — wow — we had incredible chemistry.” In a nutshell, that means that these two people felt such a strong attraction to each other that they couldn’t wait to get somewhere, ahem, a little more private, right? Sure, that may be the most traditional kind of chemistry, but it’s hardly the only type. According to experts, that earth-moving, spark-flying phenomenon can assume many forms. To help you sort through all those crazy feelings you may have for someone, we’ve described five of the most common types of attraction you can experience. Recognizing and savoring all of them can lead to a fantastic, long-lasting relationship.
Type #1: Tear-each-other’s-clothes-off chemistry This is the most common type of chemistry, but it’s also the most misunderstood. After all, pretty much everyone’s made the mistake of confusing physical attraction with love. Is there a way to differentiate one feeling from the other? Helen Fisher, Ph.D., an anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of Why We Love, explains it this way: “Lust is basically the craving for sexual gratification,” she says. “It generally dissipates after having sex and returns hours or days later. You can feel it for several different people at the same time, and you don’t necessarily feel ‘possessive’ or jealous. But when you’re in love, you are very possessive.”
No one is saying sexual chemistry is evil or that you should necessarily hold out for something deeper. Nor should you fret if you feel like great sex is all you have in common with someone at first. According to Dr. Fisher, having sex with someone can trigger a peak in the feel-good chemical dopamine, which, over time, can produce genuine, bonafide feelings of love. Hang in there, and it just may happen!
Type #2: We’re-so-comfortable chemistry Have you ever been with a guy who finishes your sentences, or a woman who’s so easy to talk to, you feel like you can be totally natural around her? Welcome to comfort chemistry—that effortless rapport and connection that can exist between two people. “People who share this chemistry often feel like they’re a unit,” says Harry Reis, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. “When they talk to each other, they almost feel like they’re talking to themselves.” Worried that all this familiarity makes you better friends than lovers? Never fear, simpatico feelings can often lead to lust later. “When you fall in love, the elevated activity of dopamine can affect levels of testosterone and trigger a heightened sex drive,” explains Fisher. Translation: You two may be passionate partners in no time!
Type #3: We-laugh-like-crazy-together chemistry Ask someone to give you a wish list of what they look for in a mate, and humor almost always appears near the top of the list. “Everybody likes to laugh,” says Kate Wachs, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Relationships for Dummies. “We’re all looking for a mate that helps us have fun.” Researchers have even found that laughing together increases how attractive people look to each other. So, don’t automatically relegate jokers to the role of “great to invite to a party.” Where there’s laughter, long-term love can follow: Just think how much easier it’ll be to get through those rocky points that every relationship experiences sooner or later.
Type #4: We’re-so-complementary chemistry While it’s important for us to find a mate who shares our values, we’re also attracted to those who are different from us. “We like complementary personalities who accentuate our good parts and mask our flaws,” says Dr. Fisher. For example, a sexy fashion model might have real chemistry with a nerdy mathematician—and vice versa. Why? She makes him feel sexy, and he makes her feel smart. Same goes for the anti-social type who marries a people person. We’re drawn to those who make us feel like better and more well-rounded people. Remember the famous line in Jerry Maguire: “You complete me?” That’s complementary chemistry in action.
Type #5: We-have-so-much-in-common chemistry As anyone who has ever searched profiles on Match.com knows, finding common interests with your potential mate is a huge plus—whether that’s a penchant to cruise flea markets for that one-of-a-kind antique, or a love of camping deep in the wilderness. “We tend to gravitate towards people who share the similar interests as us,” Dr. Fisher says. Not only does doing so make spending time together insanely easy, but sharing an activity you both enjoy allows you to get to know each other in a low-pressure environment. Plus, just think of what a bonding experience it would be if you both scaled those waterfalls at Yosemite together! These touchstones can become the foundation for a lot of fond memories—and a solid relationship.
Now that you know the five types of chemistry, be on the lookout to experience them all. Even if you don’t feel that “lightning has struck!” sensation when meeting someone, you two still might have excellent chemistry, if it’s given time to grow.
Jonathan Small is a Los Angeles-based writer who’s written for Glamour and other publications.
OMG OMG OMG! My new idol.. Saw his performance at CWP today and I'm amazed! Like.. AMAZED! He might not be one of the best in the world.. But! He should be proud to say that "I'm a Beat Boxer from SG" because he is really good! Really awesome stuff! Youtubed him immediately after I reached home.. So.. Enjoy! ^^ The whole thing is just.. AWESOME! SUPERB! AHHHHHHHH!
(I totally lurved the Snoop Dogg - Drop It Like It's Hot.. He did a longer version in CWP then the one in the 1st video.. And it's amazing~! SUGOI! AHHHH!)
[Contains spoiler.. Highlight post to see missing content..]
And the battle begins.. ^^ *Pulls a chair and cheers on excitedly with Pom-poms* "Go, Kenpachi, Go!"
The 4th round of Bleach 人气 is out!! Kon was the presenter and he had rank.. 40! With 135 votes.. haha.. 10th Ulquiorra 9th Kira 8th Inoue 7th Byakushi (Dot: T_T) 6th Hinamori (Dot: Wah!) 5th Ishida (Dot: Not bad yo~) 4th Grimmjow (Dot: and the bad ass kicks in!) 3rd Ichigo (Dot: T_T) 2rd Rukia (Dot: Sobs.. Well.. At least she got back her 2nd spot.. ^^)
*Drum rolls* and the number 1 人气..
1st HITSUGAYA! (ST was just going "wee" - emoticon all the way.. hahaha..)
Hehehehehe.. Was telling CY tt my blog is turning into a Bleach encyclopedia.. Soooooo "Bleachy".. Mwhahahaz..
The Metallic Post Card, Swing EX 3 , Swing EX 4 are my 'must get' stuff.. The 5th series figurine are temptations.. But pretty ex.. 55 bucks for one set.. I'm a poor student now.. THen again, some of you might be telling me.. "You already spent so much on Bleach and you're telling me you're poor?"
=X
The Little Accessory Collection are yet a bigger temptation.. But it's friggin ex.. and I mean FRIGGIN! $11.30 bucks for each small tin and it's RANDOM! YES! RANDOM! Damn.. -pouts-
Still considering for the Metallic Poster & Mini Puzzle Card.. The puzzle card is cute.. but.. looks like a 2 year old puzzle.. 15 pieces.. >.<
Well.. That's the end of Bleach merchandise commercial for the week~ Stay tune for more updates.. ♥
Sickening bastards.. The video is VERY SADDENING.. and I mean VERY.. I got turned off and on the verge of bursting into tears just after watching the 1st few scenes.. They got beaten and skinned alive.. Gawd.. Cruel, Sick and Psychotic.. May whoever did these suffer in the fate of their own hands some day.. http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=fur_farm&Player=qt
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Gawd.. Spent 2 hours adding & editing the HTML for comments and I finally got it.. Now the comments function works better and it's easier to navigate! All needed is just to click on the "1 comment" on the bottom of every post to see the comments! Yay! ^^
, at 1/3/08, 9:12 PM
DoTdOtGeR, at 1/3/08, 12:29 AM
